Saint Francisco

Last week, I started feeling a little sick at work. It all started with a headache and some angry sniffles on Wednesday. A day later, I felt a little better. But I think my trip to San Francisco may have contributed to it. The trip meant a lot to me and I fell in love... with the city. But airplane travel takes a lot out of me.

Before I left, everyone at work and even randos on the phone had an opinion as to what I should see and do in San Francisco. Fisherman's Wharf, Ike's Sandwiches, a Giants game, and the list went on. I had only two and half days in the city, so I appreciated Casey's itinerary, laid out perfectly in an Excel spreadsheet.

I saw and ate a lot that SF has to offer. Alcatraz was a highlight. We started with breakfast at the farmer's market that day and took a ferry to the Rock. It was just plain freezing, but the audio tour made it worthwhile. Included in your ticket to the tiny island is a set of headphones. Old guards and former inmates from Alcatraz narrate your walk through the prison. Prisoners pointed out the miserable irony of captivity in that bright, breezy setting. Bummer.

I loved San Francisco because it combined the rush of a big city and the hushed natural beauty of the bay. People consider it a very cold place, but I actually like a few clouds, an expansive gray sky... sweater weather! It makes me appreciate a sunny day even more :)

Whine

I work in a small part of the office on the second of four floors. I call it the sales dungeon because there are no windows and you have to navigate a maze to find an exit. They have successfully created a place where, if there were no clocks on our computers or smartphones, one might never know the time of day.



"JUST... KEEP... WORKING," this room seems to insist.




Life on the outside continues.


At night, after I've left the office, I think about what I've missed in those 11 hours. I think about the female lead in a romantic comedy and how content she is when she holds true to her passions and works at a flower shop or specialty book store. I think about how much time she has to herself and how much money she seems to have lying around to ensure that she is always comfortable. I think about how happy she must be to have found a job that is fun and fulfilling, and still provides an adequate living.


This fantasy almost never works out. Most adults I know will admit to sacrificing their free time and the pursuit of a passion in exchange for a job that pays the bills. I just hope that I can learn to be satisfied with my career choices, and not keep wondering, "what else is out there?" That's a question that can haunt people like me: privileged, college-educated 20-somethings who have been told, since they were small, that they can be/do anything they want to be/do. This was a fabulous way to grow up. I have the freedom to decide what I will become. But the freedom is immense and overwhelming. I could work a basic 9-5, I could continue whole-heartedly in this industry, I could go to work for a non-profit, or I could teach English in Bangladesh! I could pursue any of these, but I'm paralyzed by the question, "what else is out there?"

Now that I am in sales, all I can think about is getting people's credit card numbers.

Sinister
Selfish
SALES

I got one huge sale last month through a co-worker of my dad. It was exhilarating and a boon to my entire month. After this sale, orchestrated via my network, I am losing confidence in the 100+ calls I make everyday to random people who have seen a Suns game. When I actually get through to a live person, most conversations proceed as follows:

Me: "When was the last time you came out to a Suns game?"

Prospect: "April."

Me: "Oh great. What brought you out?"

Prospect: "My brother was in town."

Me: "Oh fantastic. How many games did you make it out to in the season?"

Prospect: "Just the one. I don't like basketball."

Me, stumbling: "... Alright ma'am, thanks for your time." CLICK

I have highly pleasurable dreams where I call a random lead, they pick up the phone, and all they say to me is "It's great to talk to you! I love the Suns! Are there any courtside seats available?"

"ARE THERE?!!!!" I exclaim.

In reality, it is proving rather difficult to convince people in Phoenix that they need season tickets to Suns games.

"Hello, My Name Is..."

I accepted the position in the sales training program in Phoenix! I feel relieved, excited, nervous… Relieved that I don’t have to worry about FINDING a job
Excited to start anew in a new city
Nervous to find out that I don’t know what the heck I’m doing.

My new boss asked all of the new hires to write a personal bio saying where you’re from, where you went to college, what jobs and internships you've had, and a unique fact about yourself. Oh, and it must be written in third person. Here is mine:

Linda Permenter is graduating in May from Rice University in Houston, TX with a major in Psychology and a minor in Business. She grew up in San Diego and is delighted that this new job will take her a little closer to beautiful Southern California! Currently, she works as a cocktail waitress in Houston learning the basics of good salesmanship and martini-shaking. Since she was a fetus, her father has gently encouraged her to pursue a career in business, so she took on a rewarding internship at a bank during the summer of ’09. Now she is ecstatic about joining the Suns’ sales team and building a career around the business of sports. An interesting fact about Linda is that, if reality and budget permitted, she would move to New York and become a theater actor.

Organization

Feenicks?

My mom has been inundating my brain and my inbox with job search ideas. She knows that I am not completely comfortable with my current job offer. But it’s the only offer I have! My choice right now is between this job and living at home searching for a new job, a search that could take forever. So I have made a pro/con list about this job.

Pros:

• IT’S A JOB IN THIS BAD ECONOMY
• Great contacts
• Fun industry
• Something new and challenging (sales)
• Great resume-builder (many executives get their start in sales)
• Steve Nash

Cons:

• Less than ideal pay
• Long hours (when will I have time to hit the gym on weekdays?)
• No friends in Phoenix --> Lonely :(
• Never spent any time in Phoenix so I don’t know if I’ll like it

If I go by which list is longer, I’d go to Phoenix.
If I go by which choice betters my career opportunities, I’d go to Phoenix.
But if I go by which choice makes me more comfortable, I’d go home and keep looking…

Finance Exam

I’m finally digging myself out of the hole I was in after I took a finance exam today. The last problem was worth forty of the one hundred total points, and I had no idea how to answer any part of it. Apparently, it was a problem that he demonstrated during the class that I had to miss for a job interview in Phoenix. I just wrote “BLANK,” which my professor promises to credit with a quarter of the possible points.

I know I failed this test. I walked for an eternity across campus trying to hold back tears. I cried because I stayed up almost all night studying for the exam and prepared an extensive note sheet.
I cried because I had an accounting exam that same morning.
I cried because I was EGGS-OSTED!!!!
I cried because I thought that my hardest effort produced mediocre results.
I was crushed. I don’t want to conclude that I am a bad finance student, but I might have to.

I got the job in Phoenix working for the Suns in a sales training program. But the promise of a job after graduation does not ease my mind about grades like I thought it would. I still pressure myself to do well.

The funniest part of my day, though, was after I had passed out in my bed in a puddle of tears. I woke up just in time to grab a late dinner at the servery. I sneaked into the Baker College awards night ceremony in Duncan Commons to sit and eat. After the festivities, who walks up to shake my hand and say hello?

MY FINANCE PROFESSOR!!!

“Oh shit!” I thought. In between pleasantries, I warned him about how bad my test was and that it was probably due to my missing class that day for the interview. He brushed it aside and just chatted politely with me while I finished my dessert. As he walked away, I realized I hadn’t told him my only good news from the week. I shamelessly ran after him yelling “Dr. Butler, DR. BUTLER!”

“You should know that I got the job.”

He may not be proud of my performance on that test, but he can be proud of me for this. He got excited, congratulated me, and shook my hand. It was a relief to just see a normal, nice guy in this intimidating figure.

Thanks, Teach! But your class is tough.