Employment Woes

I'm now working as a commercial loan underwriter at a bank in Southern California (thanks, Dad). I never thought I'd take a numbers-centric job, but I do alright because the numbers are not very complicated. The job is about finding a story that a company's financial statements tell. When a company actually wants money, it's my job to take a large amount of data and anecdotal information about the company, the people running it, and the industry and distill it into an easy-to-swallow, 10-30 page credit pill. Taken with water, it informs a senior credit administrator's decision to approve or deny the request.

I am so fortunate to have a well-paying job. I even like the work. And my boss seems to like my work! But I often come home and spend hours on my computer, wishfully searching for that job I'll LOVE that combines all my interests: words, public speaking, turn of phrase, design, editing, world travel...

I don't think I'm unlike a lot of discontent 20-somethings whose well-meaning parents showered them with participation medals and money for passing grades and told them that They. Could. Be. ANYTHING.  This was inspiring to hear when we were 12, but now it's downright overwhelming. Equipped with little more than bachelor degrees in political science (because undergrad was just supposed to be a time to "discover yourself"), many of us are struggling to find just what that "ANYTHING" is. It couldn't possibly be sitting for 8 hours straight, reading manuals, sending emails, clocking in, making awkward conversation in the office elevator all for a $1,000 paycheck. Could it?

I think a hard lesson my generation needs to learn is that each of us is probably not exceptional. As normal people, we have to work hard and not expect anyone to notice, much less award participation medals. And a job that feeds every one of our interests, gives us unflagging purpose, and pays for a new BMW by 24 probably doesn't exist.

But don't fret! Some good can come of this cold, corporate merry-go-round.

Firstly, after working for a couple of years, I've discovered what I'm good at, which was hard to identify under my parent's roof where  it seemed that every one of my accomplishments warranted a parade. Maybe these strengths fall outside my explicit job function, but I can insert them by asking my boss: "Would you like me to draft that email for you?" or "Can I lead the training?"

Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I've learned to put the money I earn toward the pursuit of other interests outside of work. I've taken to paying for acting classes because I want to audition for local theater this year. I also love trying new restaurants and bars with friends. Maybe you take a cooking class or buy a set of golf clubs. If work doesn't bring you the profound fulfillment you thought it would, get a life.